Embracing Otherness

(n) otherness, distinctness, separateness (the quality of being not alike; being distinct or different from that otherwise experienced or known)

I remember experiencing otherness at various stages of my life: as a little Mennonite girl climbing onto the public school bus; in my large family where I often retreated to a fantasy world; within my culture where fitting in was paramount to acceptance and being different was tantamount to rebellion. My otherness created a sense of loneliness that I buried deep in the recesses of my heart.

I learned to hide my otherness from the hoi polloi, to allow it to surface only in safe places. But it was always just beneath the surface, ebbing and flowing; sometimes simmering, sometimes seething. And occasionally it would erupt in a geyser of full blown Otherness. It had a mind of its own: at times it was the bane of my soul, other times it was a banquet of soul food. It made life unbearable; it made life worth living. It was capricious. And it rebelled at being squelched.

To thrive as its Creator intended, the human spirit needs to live authentically. If the truth of Christ is to make us free indeed, we must walk in truth - Christ's Truth and the truth of our own heart. Jesus said that doing this will require sacrifice; that it may mean leaving those we love. But that He will give us rest if we come to Him. Ah, rest. What one's heart longs for. What God crowned His days of creation with. What He invites us to enter.

For many years I lived in a place of unrest. My spirit longed for something more, but knew not how to find it. Gradually and gently, the Lord led me to the well of Truth. He showed me that the otherness in my spirit is from Him. That it is His way of bringing me to Him; that to fully know Him, I must embrace my otherness. That otherness is a Good Thing.

So now I am in the season of embracing my otherness, of becoming intimate with its idiosyncracies and owning them fully. It is a place of joy; it is a place of pain; it is Home. I love this place; it is where my spirit has longed to be. But the cost of living here is steep: it means not being understood. It means challenging the status quo. It means being content to live as a pilgrim and a stranger, desiring it even. Being in the world, but not of it. And, paradoxically, it means knowing Peace; Peace that passeth all understanding.

Embracing Otherness - ah! this is Sabbath. This is Rest.

It is good to be Home.